Q: What inspired you to create the Coming of Age Project?

A: I taught a women's empowerment training called Woman Wisdom® from 1989-2004. Many of our students who had young daughters asked if I would design celebrations to welcome them into womanhood after their first menstruation. So, I began to offer annual events each spring.

During these ceremonies, when I invite the honoree to recite an oath of womanhood and dance for the circle for the first time as a woman, the women who attend will often say, “oh if only I had had this experience when I was a girl.”

It became so clear to me that, as women in our culture, we had lost out on our menarche rite of passage — and that it had, in fact, created a deep wound in our psyche.

In my own life, I had had such a glorious initiation into womanhood, and because I had never met anyone else growing up who had a similar "good start," I guess I wanted to share my blessing with others and help them feel good about their cycle.

 

Q: What was your initiation into womanhood?

A: When my flow came for the first time, I was at home, peeing. I looked at the beautiful color of my own blood — the exquisite red — and I couldn’t bring myself to flush the toilet. Instead, I stood there…in awe…witnessing the miracle of my own body. I felt that something fantastic was happening to my body. I was ecstatic. Then I ran out of the bathroom to tell my parents.

I brought them back into the bathroom where we all gathered together holding hands and praising my blood. My father, whose sense of drama always made me giggle, proclaimed in his booming voice, "this is cause for celebration!"

We all got dressed up that evening and went out to a fancy French restaurant for dinner. When we arrived, my father waved his arms and with the same dramatic voice said to the maitre d, "give us the best table in the house, for today my daughter has become a woman." Rather than be embarrassed, I was beaming with pride. I felt like I was a movie star. That was 1959.

 

Q: How were you able to maintain such a positive attitude when all around you there must have been the typical negative bias?

A: Well, I did lapse into cyclic amnesia for a few years and, like my peer group, suffered from monthly PMS. However, by the time I was in my early 20s, I was ready to embrace wise woman teachings and re-establish my appreciation for the sacredness of my female body.

In 1971, I had my first introduction to women's cultural anthropology. I remember attending a Native American program at the Museum of Natural History in New York where a group of Apache men sang several phrases from a girl's puberty rite of passage song. Somehow, I knew this song. Deep within, I resonated with the melody. I could see myself dancing and feeling my power as a woman — as if I were in the midst of a tribal celebration.

A few years later, while on a spiritual retreat in Switzerland, I began to practice the "moon lodge" tradition which meant that each month when I got my period, I would go to my bedroom and bed rest for three days. At first I thought this was odd, but I couldn’t believe how much my body needed to rest. I would sleep for hours and hours and hours. This meant so much to me that for 17 years I maintained a moonlodge. It made an enormous difference in how I felt the rest of the month. I had more energy. I felt renewed. I didn’t suffer from mood swings.

 

Q: What is your response to the trend in menstrual suppresssion?

A: For generations, girls have been taught in a dry, clinical way about their fertility cycle. They have also been taught to hide their periods — to dread and actually hate their periods — as something they have to put up with rather than appreciate.

This abhorrence and rejection of our bodies and our fertility cycle has disempowered us. It has also motivated pharmaceutical companies to manufacture pills to suppress our natural cycle. Who knows what the consequences are going to be down the line. It's potentially very destructive, I feel.

 

Q: Do you think that this negative attitude surrounding menstruation influences girl's self-esteem?

A: Yes, there have been many studies conducted which reveal that a girl’s self-esteem diminishes at puberty. Is it any wonder — when we condemn their cycle and don’t honor its onset — when we instill fear around sexuality, and refer to their bleeding as "the curse?"

I feel it's time for a paradigm shift in reproductive education.
I created Coming of Age: From Bud to Flower in response to this dilemma.

 

Q: Tell me about the project - what does it encompass?

A: The Coming of Age project includes a menarche kit with an adult guide book, girl's workbook, craft project and DVD. The girl’s workbook includes all the teachings and exercises and serves also as a journal where she can write down her thoughts and feelings. It also includes a cycle chart so she can keep track of her lifestyle choices and how they impact her cycle.

The adult guide has sections on working with an individual girl and working with a group of girls and their female mentors. The guide is extremely detailed. The group sessions are fully scripted and include protocols for running circles. There are formats for running a one day workshop and a series of four two-hour meetings. There is a film outline and discussion guide, a section of outside projects, 13 ways to honor a girl at menarche, a detailed sample ceremony, song sheet, teaching materials and resource section. There’s even an important message to fathers to help them maintain a loving relationship with their daughter during puberty.

The keepsake box which encases everything can later serve to store her mementos of her coming of age ceremony.

 

Q: What are the major themes or messages that you convey in Coming of Age and the From Girl to Woman DVD?

A: The first theme is around honoring our "moon time," (a term that native women use to describe menstruation), — understanding the cosmic significance of the monthly fertility cycle — and encouraging girls to love and care for their bodies through educated lifestyle choices.

The second theme is helping a girl develop a healthy female identity for herself by learning about women's history, menstrual lore — how various cultures celebrate girls' coming of age — and how to create a meaningful rite of passage celebration that puts her firmly on her path.

 

 Q: How did you learn about creating menarche ceremonies?

A: When I was in my late 30's, I attended a workshop called, "Everything You Wanted to Know About Moontime, But Your Mother Never Told You." During this weekend, a group of a dozen or so women learned esoteric teachings about moontime and participated in a native-inspired ceremony to reclaim our menarche rite of passage. This was a turning point for me. For even though I had had a lovely honoring at my own menarche, here I was privileged to receive wisdom teachings that stirred me to my core. Here I was also able to experience the profound transformation that a well crafted ceremony could provide for a group of individuals of all ages.

Growing up, my family loved to make music, sing and dance together. I majored in theatre in college, so performing was natural. As I was developing the Woman Wisdom® training, I spent time researching ceremonial design and discovered that I had a passion for leading group ceremonies that later got applied to the Coming of Age menarche celebrations.

 

Q: What happens at a menarche ceremony?

A: The menarche ceremonies celebrate the unique power of being female. They signal a shift in a girl’s development, that puts her on her path and acknowledges her womanhood for herself.

It is a turning point for the young women who are initiated at these ceremonies. They say they feel differently about themselves afterwards. They feel more connected to a larger web of life, to the sacredness of their own bodies, to the cycles of nature, and certainly to the circle of women who honored them.

These ceremonies validate her existence at a fundamental level. They offer counsel and advice from older, wiser women. They make her feel loved, cherished, important and deeply connected. They provide a turning point — an initiation — a rite of passage, so ancient, so right.

 

Q: Whom do you see benefiting from Coming of Age?

A: I created the kit for the global community of girls and their mothers or female mentors. There is a broad appeal here with teachings that are not widely known and need to be shared.

Although created primarily for girls, the film trilogy does provide a certain nostalgia for women — an opportunity to recapture their youth in a more positive way and move forward into their lives with an even deeper appreciation of what it is to be a woman. The films are very healing, I feel.

I wanted to break the silence around menstruation and improve the relationship between mothers and daughters. At a time when many daughters begin to pull away from their mother, by participating in this program together, mothers and daughters can increase the bond of intimacy and trust between each other.

If women are interested in addressing their own lost rite of passage, I encourage them to work with the Women’s Rites of Passage multimedia program that I created which is geared more to the adult level and covers both menstruation and menopause.

When women have focused on their own personal healing, it is far easier for them to hold the container for guiding young girls into womanhood.

 

Q: What is the bigger picture? What do you imagine the impact will be if this information is fully embraced?

A: It is time to restore women’s wisdom. It is time to guide our daughters to the threshold of womanhood and celebrate their special time — to be sure to remain available and supportive to their continuing journey into young adulthood.

I believe so strongly that when the ancient truths about our monthly cycle are understood and lived by women and girls, that the impact will be far-reaching.

I see a reduction in violent crimes against women and girls. Instead I see men honoring women and girls. I see the world becoming safer.

Over time, I envision fewer reproductive health issues. I see girls maintaining their sense of aliveness and courage — growing into strong women and taking their place of leadership in a world that is starved for female sensibility.

My mission is to help girls, tomorrow’s leaders, discover their unique gifts and celebrate their rite of passage with joy.